Thus the new Cinemafool (CF) rating is born. It is based on the preconception that every film I go to see is a 7 rated film. On the new scale, 7 = 0. Extra marks can then be scored, up to a maximum of 5, for any aspects of the film that I deem greater than 7. Or for the occasional slip-up, marks can be lost, down to negative 5, depending on the crapness.
Tsotsi was given 8.5/10 on the old scale.
- It automatically makes ‘0’ because it’s more than 7.
- I’ve decided to add 2 extra marks for the emotional thrust of the film.
- So Tsotsi makes a CF score of 2.
- (Some might think it’d be 1.5, if you take it from 8.5 minus 7. But the scales don’t transfer that neatly. This gives me more scope for films better than a 7.)
Closer was awarded 5.5/10.
- It therefore does not even reach CF 0 – instead I put it at CF-2. It loses 2 CF points for having crap dialogue and featuring Clive Owen.
In short, if a film makes CF 0, then it’s worth seeing. The more CF points it gains, the more I’d recommend it. It’s that simple.
From now on all films will be rated on the CF scale, but with an additional rating out of ten for those who are a bit silly and don’t understand what I’ve just plainly written.